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He had landed on a meteor! And it was hurtling towards the earth!
I’m not riding fast, I’m just flying low. and please DONATE to this website
oh no he thought I feel like Bruce Willis with hed had on many occasion
and let off 1 almighty trump that altered the meteor course it was now heading directly towards Bassets Pole he could do nothing so he put on his waterproofs and hoped for the best is this the end he thaught when suddenly…..Paul
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…in the distance he noticed his bike lying on the road next to an old Ford Sierra.With a worried look in his face he wonderd how the hell he was going to break his fall without rupturing his spleen.With the ground fast approaching he……
Take it easy out there
remembering prezzos tip he grabed his old slippers and taped them to his backside….
Paul
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with Aerosmith playing in the background he braced himself and plotted his landing… he noticed a large lake to his left and made the hasty decision to launch himself into the lake thus softening his landing. He jumped and he hit the lake at 3,000,867,42 mph down under the surface he went, down to the bottom of the lake! After 5 minutes he realised that a miracle had happened and he could breathe underwater. Also, quite miraculously, he had no injuries other than a face that looked like a smacked arse due to the G force. Swimming around he suddenly noticed a beautiful mermaid with long blonde hair, she beckoned him over and as he doggy paddled towards her he realised………..
Don`t ride faster than your guardian angel can fly!
there was a crab called Sebastian singing “under the sea”… and an odd voice which sounded like Sean Connery telling him that he cannot die and calling him Highlander…
To “ERR” is natural.. to really fowl things up needs a politician!!
he looked around him again and saw a sword sticking out of a rock……. he doggy paddled over to it with Sebastian the Crab in tow. Sebastian said many a brave man has tried to pull that sword out but no-one has succeeded. If you can claim the sword then eternal life will be yours forever! Radar thought about this, he had a secret crush on Angelina Jolie and he knew that at the moment he didn`t stand a chance of “bagging” her, not with Brad Pitt around anyway. “BUT” he thought, maybe when Angelina`s in her 60`s and I still have enternal youth i might stand more of a chance. Bravely he seized the sword with both hands. He pulled and pulled, tugged and tugged and just when he was about to give up there was a blinding flash, lots of underwater fireworks went off and Sebastian the Crab cowered sideways behind a rock. A deep voice boomed out to him “Radar” it said “you are the chosen one, you must take your sword, go forth and………….”.
Don`t ride faster than your guardian angel can fly!
Then Radar was interupted by the sound of an incoming test message on his mobile. It was from Jolie!
It said:
“Have dumped Brad, come round now, and bring the sword!”
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with a quick kick off Sebastians back he frantically swam to the surface,sword in hand, wide eyed with anticipation of what Jolie had in-store for him. He remounted his trusty Thundercat next to the Sierra and headed off to Jolies crib. Once there he kicked the door open, but it woudln’t budge, so he climbed through the cat flap and ran towards her room. With nervous tension and ‘little girl squealy delight’ he opened Jolies bedroom door; she was nowhere to be seen. Then he heard a noise coming from the bathroom, so he walked up and opened the door….there before him, was Jolie, she was dumping Brad out of her bowels and into the Loo. Yes she was a cannibal and she wanted Radars sword to…………
Be seen and be Safe!
add to her collection. She already had the vials of blood from her previous lovers round her neck and some leftovers of Brad still in her bowels which she was leaving til later that night. Radar gulped, he suddenly felt nauseous and not quite so sure if he still wanted this woman. “Radar” she said, “look into my eyes, not around my eyes but into my eyes, on the count of 3 you`ll forget what you`ve just seen, 1 2 3 you`re back in the room”. Radar suddenly blinked, he saw Angelina sitting there on the loo and never in his life had he lusted after someone so much. “Come to me” she said and Radar went drooling all the way. She opened her arms to receive him, Radar felt aroused!! in fact he felt so aroused that he just………….
Don`t ride faster than your guardian angel can fly!
pole vaulted himself over the bed with his arousal symbol and landed in a cammode; “this is taken the p***” and with that he climbed out of the cammode and went for a shower, but he had to shut the toilet lid to stop Brad looking at his………..
Be seen and be Safe!
Enourmous Absess he had on his backside. Still thats one of the downsides eating human flesh… He thought…..Little did he know the 1 and only woman he had ever even come close to banging was also a cannibal.Is that a marble someone has droped in the pan ? queiring the remains still not flushed away properly and crouched down to look. when suddenly……….
Paul
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an arm reached out of the loo and grabbed him…. it was the half digested Brad! Unbeknown to Radar Angelina was missing Brad and had performed a voodoo/black magic spell to resurrect him from the dead. As Radar felt his head being pulled towards the u bend he heard Angelina chanting in the background. Suddenly a huge adrenaline surge took over and gave Radar the strength to overpower Brad, he turned round and came face to face with…………..
Don`t ride faster than your guardian angel can fly!
With Angelina who was sporting a brand new set of leathers all black fancy a quick ride then……….
Paul
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