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..with that all the bikes disapperared as if the rain was acid and no bike could be touched by the evil stuff. The lads rode off to gixers to watch the video with speedy and Gixers dog with the lipstick. They had it on good authority that Gixer had loads of kitchen roll as she was used to wiping away gallons of oil.
The Angels prepared themselves for blast off. Bruce sat down and his wig fell off, 2Oh my god Bruce,screamed Speedy were did you get that wig?”
“Bets-wy-Coed” replied Bruce, ” anything from there falls off!”The girls, Gixer, Barmy and Speedy put their straps on then they fastened themselves into the seat of the space shuttle; their bikes stowed in the cargo bay.
10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1……………
Be seen and be Safe!
and with “Radar Love” blasting from the ships hi-fi they roared into space and onto their real mission…to rid the entire universe of the evil caravan curse. The new rulers of the universe, The Caravan Club, were secretly building a huge “Death-van” in the Earth’s orbit, made up entirely of caravans joined together. In only a few hours it’s ‘Biker-beam’ would be ready for deployment. When fired at the earth all bikes everywhere would be turned into 1.8LX Mondeos with Ace Jubliee caravan in tow. They had to be stopped and only ID’s angels could stop them.
May the Forum be with them…!
Donate – Or Imperial Data will have you sorted!
But first they stocked up with chocolate from the Milkyway, and some Mars bars, and some love chocolates from Venus, They also picked up some fire bombs from Jupiter, now these fire bombs were really small the size of a penny, but one bomb could destroy and entire spacecraft. So they had done their shopping and…………
I’m not riding fast, I’m just flying low. and please DONATE to this website
…realised that Gixerchic never had her lucky nuns habit balaclava or crotch protecting duct tape. So she dived back into the cargo bay of the shuttle and opened up her flaps; then she got her lucky balaclava and crotch protector tape from the seat compartment on the bike.
She donned her special tokens, ready for action and moonwalked back towards the flight deck of the shuttle. She sat down with the other angels and Bruce Willis to go through the plan of attack for the ‘Death-van’, if only they had a blueprint or schematic layout of the ‘Death-van’, were could they get that from?…………
Be seen and be Safe!
Looks like we’re going to have to rescue Radar…….Love!
I’m not riding fast, I’m just flying low. and please DONATE to this website
And while we’re trying to find Radar………Call on XV16…….Scouser radio’d me and suggested him, Calling XV16…….ID’s Angels to XV16 ………”HELP!”…………..
I’m not riding fast, I’m just flying low. and please DONATE to this website
The radio crackled and broken voice came over the speaker saying…
Donate – Or Imperial Data will have you sorted!
(to the tune of Space Oddity)
…this is ground control to Major Gix you’ve really made the grade
and the papers want to know who’s balaclavas you wear
now its time to leave the capsule if you dare….
This is major Gix to ground control, I’m stepping through the door
and I’m floating in a most peculiar way and the ‘Deathvan’ looks very different today….This is XV16 calling…Angels I have now found out that the ‘Deathvan’ is surrounded with laser targeting Speed cameras, when you mount your bikes for the attack you must face your mirrors forward to deflect the beams or stay below the triggering speed of 1000mph, this is your only chance of attacking the ‘Deathvan’ and obtaining your prize of the Nanimbian Frog.
With that Gixer, Speedy and Barmy made their way into the cargo bay to launch their bikes and get into attack formation……….
Be seen and be Safe!
And off they blast into warp speed with their mirrors facing forward and the Deathvan fires it’s lasers, which then reflects in the Angels mirrors bouncing the beam back to the Deathvan and at the same time they fired there Venus firebombs and………….
I’m not riding fast, I’m just flying low. and please DONATE to this website
Then Gixer heard a strange voice in her ear. It was ID,
“Feel the power of the forum gix, let it guide your path”
With that Gix turned off her targetting computer and swept down to the Deathvan and doged the laser cannons as if she was guided by an unseen hand. Every shot missed her.
On her Right was Speedy Claire and her Left was Barmy Carmy. Both ice cool and focussed at helping the forum Queen and ID’s Angel fullfill her destiny.
Somehow she knew what she must do, she had to send a laser torpedo down the open lid of a Thetford Porti Potti, the Deatvans’ only weak spot.
Suddenly she was in a world on her own. The Forum was guideing her, she didn’t hear the explosions as she flashed over the surface of the death van with only millimetres to spare.
But Barmy and Speedy were in serious trouble. Toggsy, Radar, Thumper and Scouser were really agents of the dark side, all were caravanners and they needed to save the Death Van if their wicked plan of ‘A’ road domination was to come true.
Speedy and Barmy fought with all their might, their GSXRs twisted and turned as laseer cannon shells exploded all around them.
Could they keep Gixer safe as she sped towards the open loo seat at lightening speed?
Can she save the world from this caravan blight…
Donate – Or Imperial Data will have you sorted!
Suddenly……..Barmy Carmy had a brainwave,(Rare I know) Speedy we got to fire them Venus Chocolates into Radar, Toggsy,Thumper and Scousers mouth, then they will be under our power, therefore our servants. Then Gixer can do that major job, blowing up the deathvan, so they loaded up there weapons with Venus chocolates and aimed at the foursome, with ID’s voice saying “May the Forum be with you!” and………………..
I’m not riding fast, I’m just flying low. and please DONATE to this website
..fired their weapons at the Caravanning agents of the ‘Deathvan’; but the weapons did not fire because they were Suzukis and Toggsy had secretly disabled the chocolate firing mechanism last time he serviced their bikes in the cargo bay.
What were they going to do now? The ‘Deathvan’ Star daytrippers, Toggsy,Radar, Scouser and Thumper were bearing down on them firing their GB stickers and souvenir pennants at the approaching Angels.
Then as if by magic ID’s voice whispered in the Angels ears…”Use the Forum…Use the Forum”.
The Angels mustered their thoughts, forget about chocolate for a second, we must use the Forum, what does ID mean? Then it came to them, all three Angels realised that they would have to do a Mega-post and use The Forum to destroy the Star Daytrippers who were now moving in for the death blow……
Be seen and be Safe!
So Gixer changed into nun’s outfit, (Sorry Gix),and speedy shouted to Digger ” Didnt I see you in the Penial Dysfuntion Clinic” and Barmy (who cant sing) sang “Radar Love by Golden Earring”, the foursome started screaming “Nooooooooooooo” “We cant stand it anymore, Gixer is chanting “May the Forum be with you” Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh “we surrender said the foursome waving a pair of white skidmarked Y fronts………………….
I’m not riding fast, I’m just flying low. and please DONATE to this website
But it was a trick. Imperial Data was the dark lord and Uber Caravanner.
He appeared oou of nowhere pulled out his blaster and calmly despatched Speedy and Barmy. Gixer was shocked and realised that she was next, but the mission can’t fail. With explosions all round here she got out of the habit and back on the GSXR. She had a date with a Deathvan..Fairings are for puffs
Gixerchic had one more chance, little did anyone know that connected to the under side of her Gixer, was a nuclear bomb. As she revved the bike looking at the Deathvan with great determination, she took off into warped speed, then lifting the front end of the bike, she wheelied towards the Deathvan, and fired the nuclear bomb, right into the heart of the Deathvan, then Gixerchic had to go in double warp speed……………
I’m not riding fast, I’m just flying low. and please DONATE to this website
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