January 18, 2005 at 8:26 pm #9375toggsyParticipant
A Glaswegian walks into a pub, notices a very large jar on the
counter, and sees it’s filled to the brim with £10 notes. He guesses there
must be thousands of pounds in it. He approaches the barman and asks,
“What’s up with the jar?”
“Well, you pay £10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the
” The Glaswegian certainly isn’t going to pass up this chance.
“What are the three tests?” “Pay first, those are the rules.”
says the barman.
So the man gives him the £10, and the barman drops it into the
“OK,” the barman says, “here’s what you need to do..
“First you have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila..
the whole thing, all at once…and you can’t make a face while doing it.
Second, there’s a pit bull chained-up outside with a sore tooth.
You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.
Third, there’s a 90-year-old woman upstairs who has never reached
orgasm during intercourse. You’ve gotta make things right for her.”
The tough Glaswegian is stunned. “I know I paid my £10, but I’m
not an idiot! I won’t do it! You have to be bonkers to drink a gallon of
pepper tequila, and then do those other things….
“It’s up to you,” says the barman, “but your money stays where
As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he
asks, “Wherez zat teeqeelah?” He grabs the gallon with both hands and
downs it with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he
doesn’t make a face.
Next, he staggers outside where the pit bull is chained-up, and
soon all the people inside the bar hear a noisy, scuffle going on outside.
They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull
yelping, and then… silence. Just when they think the man surely must be
dead, he staggers back
into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches
all over his body.
“Now,” he says, “where’s the old woman with the sore tooth?
January 18, 2005 at 10:52 pm #22617GixParticipant
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
LOVE IS GIVING SOMEONE THE ABILITY TO DESTROY YOU, THEN TRUSTING THEM NOT TO.
GO ON! DONATE! YOU KNOW YA WANNA!
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