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Bikes only need their fluids changed every 2,000 kilometres
Bikes curves never sag
Bikes last longer
Bikes don’t get pregnant
You can ride a bike any time of the month
Bikes don’t have parents
Bikes don’t whine unless something is really wrong
You can kick your bike to wake it up
You can share your bike with your friends
If your bike makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler
You only need to get a new chain or belt for your bike when the old one is REALLY WORN
If your bike smokes, you can do something about it
Bikes don’t care about how many other bikes you have ridden
When riding you and your bike both arrive at the same time
Bikes don’t care about how many other bikes you have
Bikes don’t mind if you look at other bikes, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines
New bikes must be asked for, and if you don’t want to pay for them, you don’t get them
If your bike goes flat you can fix it and if your bike is too loose you can tighten it
If your bike is too soft, you can get different shocks
If your bike is misaligned, you don’t have to discuss politics to correct it
You can have a beer while riding your bike
You don’t have to be jealous of the guy that works on your bike
You don’t have to deal with priests or blood tests to register your bike
If you say bad things to your bike you don’t have to apologize before you can ride it again
You can ride your bike for as long as you like and it won’t get sore
Your parents don’t keep in touch with your old bike after you dump it
Bikes always feel like going for a ride
Bikes don’t insult you if you’re a bad rider
Your bike never wants a night out alone with other bikes
Bikes don’t care if you’re late
You don’t have to take a shower before riding your bike
It’s always ok to use tie downs on your bike
If your bike doesn’t look good you can paint it or get better parts
You can’t get diseases from a bike you don’t know very well
If you get rid of your bike it doesn’t keep half of your stuff
If you leave town you don’t have to worry if your bike is letting somebody else ride it
You can trade your bike in for a newer model without paying alimony
Your bike doesn’t mind if you play with it in public
Your bike has an off switch
You can totally ignore your bike for as long as you want
Your bike won’t get offended if you suggest bigger, after market headlights
You know exactly how much your bike is going to take out of your checking account each month
Your bike doesn’t expect foreplay
Your bike doesn’t expect a snuggle after a ride
People envy your bike more the older it gets
You can get your bike hot and ready with 2 minutes of sitting on your butt
Your bike doesn’t mind waiting outside while you go into a strip club
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