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Toggsy, with so much high speed running and for such long periods outside built-up areas, I wonder, are there ANY speed cameras or even for that matter any speed camera signs on the roads the group used, if not it sure makes a Southern Continental trip MUCH more appealing. Also, further to the above, what about numbers of Police vehicles, are road users targeted like we are here. No need to labour on the point that you dare not blink when on our own roads, just incase we miss seeing fixed cameras, marked or unmarked Police vehicles, mobile camera vans, camera signs, etc, etc , all of which as we know detract from rider concentration and personal safety.
Day 5 – 1st June 2008
Well, surprisingly, even though we stopped up until the early hours of the morning most of us were up bright and early, all except Digger, Paul and Timmy who got up the early hours of the afternoon. Well who can blame them, they were on holiday and the next three days were chill out days, yes it was “CHILL OUT TIME” similar to “CHICO TIME” but totally different.
Although the ride down had been great, you remember “bend after bend after bend after bend after bend after hairpin after bend after hairpin……” (thought I’d just remind you all just in case you had forgotten) it was good to “Chill Dude” and where better to chill out than the South of France?
Answers on Postcard to
222 Errrrr!!!!!Street
No wheresville
BuryAnd what was the plan for today???? Oh Yes, we get to watch the Moto GP, Some might say “Why go all the way down to the South of France just to sit on your *rse and watch telly?” Well, my answer to that is “Coz we want to and we can”. I can’t think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon than sitting in a bar, in 25+ degrees sunshine, sipping on a beer, eating a cracking Omlette (Thank again for that Digger) with 7 Mates, oh and did I mention in the “South of France” watching the Moto GP, seeing how a bike is supposed to be ridden, good old Rossi did it again.
After the GP had finished most of us decided to wash our bikes, not the most exciting thing to report but there is a reason coz we got introduced to “Ice Polish” by Simoniz (or whatever they are called) it is cracking stuff, the bikes were filthy, so a quick wash down, wait till they dry, (which as you can imaging doesn’t take long in 25+ degrees of heat in the “South of France”) then follow the instructions on the bottle, No white marks and a cracking shine. I reckon it takes about 10 minutes to polish the whole bike, and it brings plastics, ali and chrome up great. Basically I can recommend it. Cheers Neil, nice one.
Oh and of course as soon as we all finished the clouds came over and it started raining, it was “South of France” rain though which is OK! So we didn’t mind “NOT”
There was a band playing at the site club tonight, I must say they were very good, they were English, which helped because they played good old English music.
The night was long for most of us, unfortunately Paul left us early, his ulcer was giving him jip, I think the beer and the rum from the night before was getting its own back.
Neil was next to go, Daz and I left shortly afterwards probably around Midnight, leaving Digger, Billy and Crowy to strut their stuff. ( there is a point to all this)
I think it was about 2 am ish when the caravan door opened and my, did it open, in flew Digger, “Sorry lads sorry sorry sorry”, he had returned on his own. But why? I here you ask. Well not sure really………… but something Neil and I were sure about was that he was well and truly Bladdered.
He went to the fridge first to get himself a beer saying “Sorry lads sorry sorry sorry” then went outside, about 2 minutes later he came back in and went to the fridge to get himself a beer…… saying “Sorry lads sorry sorry sorry” then went back outside, then about 15 minutes later he came back in “Sorry lads sorry sorry sorry” we told him to get himself to bed, by which time he was standing at the door to his bedroom staring into his room, after about 3 minutes of staring he said
“I can’t go in there!”
“Why” we asked.
“Because there is someone standing in my room”
“What!” we replied in unison….
“There is someone standing here staring at me”
So I jumped out of bed to see what he was going on about.
“Digger?”
“Yes”
“It’s your leathers…….You Tw*t”
Silence……………………………………..
“But I can’t sleep in there with him watching over me”
“Look Digger, we’ll get rid of him and lock him in the wardrobe out here. Ok?”
So that we did, we took his leathers off the hanger and locked them in the wardrobe.
He finally climbed into bed.
Silence…..
Until,
“I can’t sleep in here on my own, can I come and sleep out there with you two”
“NO! GO TO SLEEP”
“I can’t!”..pause…”DAZ?” can I come and sleep with you?”
There was no answer. Daz was fast asleep……..So Digger went into his room and tried to pull his mattress out from underneath him .“F**K OFF!!!!!”
Digger eventually climbed back into bed, then we heard.
“I can’t sleep in here on my own, Toggsy?”
“Yes”
“Can you come and sleep in here”
“No! Go to sleep”
“Oh!. Please?”
So, just to stop him going on I climbed into the other bed in his room.
“Toggs?”
“What”
“Cheers mate. Give us your hand!”
“No, Go to sleep. If you start calling me Ann I’m out of here”Then:
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snore zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snore zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snore zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
snore zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snore zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snore zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snore zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snore zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snore zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snore zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
So I went back out. All slept well………….Summary:
A great day
Lots of beer,
Great Company
A bloody good night.Day 6 – 2nd June 2008
Lye ins galore. Chill out day 2
Not sure what time until but it was jolly nice, Digger was a little worse for wear and swore “Never again”.
A cracking day, High 20’s again. It had rained during the night though and all the bikes were filthy again, so out with the washing stuff again and the ‘Ice Polish’
The idea was to go to Cannes today, Lucky Paul had to get his puncture fixed before we could go so he and Neil popped out to find a tyre place, Neil went along because he needed a new visor.
An hour or so later they returned, we think Paul had been ripped off a little, they charged him 50 Euros to fix his tyre………Make your own mind up on that.
So Off to Cannes we went.
The monster from the deep blue sea…What a cracking place, Sun, Sea, Sand and Huge Boats…………(Typo) the sea was looking very tempting but no towels and I don’t think the locals were ready for the sight of us all stripping off. We ended up just wandering around admiring the sights………
Maccy D’s for lunch….. and then back to the Vans.
Chill chill chill.
Evening came and off to the bar again, Digger must have felt pretty rough, not one drop of alcohol passed his lips.
Timmy, Daz and myself had a few games of pool, Timmy took on some young Jewish lads, who were working locally, they beat him, he says he let them win but I think we all know the truth……Another late night, about 3 am. No strangers staring over anyone, he was still locked away in the wardrobe.
So –
A great day
Lots of beer,
Great Company
Just bloody Great againDay 7 – 3rd June 2008
Lye ins galore again, Last day at the vans we were heading back tomorrow, how quick it was going.
But wait!!! There was a mouth watering scent wafting across the camp site, “That smells familiar”
Bacon.Neil, Digger and Crowy were doing the cooking, Bacon, sausage, eggs, mushrooms and toast, the good old English breakfast. It was superb, cheers lads.
Well fed and watered, there were various suggestions as to what to do for the and various things were done.
Billy went for a walk down the beach Digger and Neil joined him later.Billy and Crowy went for a walk down the river to see the fish which were plentiful apparently.
Paul suggested that we go for a blast, he wanted to get as many good roads in as possible as he was going to be leaving the group tomorrow and detouring to Germany, he had the route planned. Daz and myself were up for that. But this meant following Paul……..Oh Bugger! What had we let ourselves in for, so I got Crowys map and put it under my seat, just in case….
The idea was to drive along the coast towards Nice, turn inland towards the mountains towards Digney and then turn left at the island (Don’t turn towards Digney) back towards the sea. Good plan.
Well. Sun shining, high 20’s I would say, what a glorious day for a blast.
So off we went. It was about 15 miles towards Nice, we missed the turning left inland, but we were filtering on the wrong side of the road, so It wasn’t really Pauls fault. A quick ‘U’turn.
Inland we headed.
After about another 15 miles as we left the built up areas the roads started to that horrible thing again ‘bend’ and bend again and again ‘It was glorious’ if you can imaging, every type of bend you could possibly hope to come across on ride out. One after another with the odd small town thrown in but they didn’t spoil it, then through the other side and you guessed it, more and more bends heaven.
We stopped by a huge lake, which might have actually been a reservoir not sure but it was very picturesque, Look, nearly a sentence in French.
As we were taking our piccies we heard a few rumbles of thunder rolling around the mountains,, we could see the dark clouds over the mountains but luckily we were riding around them in glorious sunshine.
After about 50 miles of those unmentionable things (Bends) we eventually came to the island where we had to turn left, we were heading back towards the sea now and what was between us and the sea? Yep! Mountains. And what was going on in the mountains? Yep! Thunder storms, it was only a little overcast where we were, maybe the storms were in different mountains, there were about miles of fast fast roads to the base of the mountains, it was a bit scary when we hit the unmentionables, there was a longish straight for about 2 miles and at the end was quite a tight unmentionable, it caught me out as it tightened, but thankfully the brakes on the new bike did the business, as I exited the bend I looked in my mirror hoping that it hadn’t caught Daz out, only to see him appear round the bend with his left foot down Super Moto ing round the corner on his RSV, Nicely done Daz.
About another 5 miles up the mountain it was getting increasingly darker, Oh bugger it was these mountains. Firstly it started spitting then it got a bit heavier, not too bad, maybe we had missed the heavy stuff, bursting for a wee wee and brew we came across a cafe at the top of the mountain, so we pulled over, it was starting to get a little heavier, so the 3 of us pulled over for break.
We went in to the cafe and ordered the drinks, just as a group of Swiss Tourers (I think) pulled up on their BM’s, we sat outside for a ciggie, then within 3 – 5 mins it started, the mountains disappeared and my god did it rain, we were caught in the Daddy Nay the Granddaddy of Thunder Storms. We had the lot Thunder and Lightning Bolt after Bolt then came the hail stones.
So, there we are, some 80+ miles from the vans with our summer leathers on, no waterproofs sitting on top of a mountain in the thunder storm sent down from Beelzebub himself ( Video Footage available) all we could do was sit it out.
So we did.
Three cups of tea later, it eased and we took the opportunity to get moving down the other side of the mountain, we could see in the distance that the sun was shining it looked so close, but it was actually about 20 odd miles away and between us and the sunshine was rain.
We got wet!!! Gross understatement! We got absolutely bloody soaked!!!
But as quickly as it came, it went, the sun was back out and the roads were as dry as bone and the tyres started to warm up again. We had about another 30 miles on unmentionables. They were the roads that are on tape 6 but heading the other way. Cracking.
We got back to the vans, I know, surprised? Paul got us back…….Only Joking Paul, we never had a doubt, even when we went through that town twice.
Cheers Paul a cracking route. 170+ miles of great fun.
If we had something even 25% the size of that circuit near any of us we would feel like dogs with 2 dangly things, and we wouldn’t feel embarrassed when we bought new tyres because they would actually be worn on the edges and not have a big flat spot in the middle.
When we got back to the vans the others were playing cards for pebbles, I think Billy was winning because he had a bigger pile than anyone else.
So all chilled out big time ready for the ride home #61516;
Not all bad news though it was the Digney run tomorrow…
Evening brought a visit to the camp bar not too much alcohol all in all a quiet night was had by everyonel, I think we were all in bed before midnight.
All except Diggers limp wristed stalker, who escaped from the wardrobe during the night.
A friendly Stalker.
So –
A great day’s riding Not Withstanding The Thunder storm from Hell
Some beer,
Great Company
Just bloody Great againDay 8 – 4th June 2008
An early start. Yes back to them……
But Digger, “who is that you were sleeping with last night”?
So Digger and his leathers all friends again, bags packed,, all that was left was for the girl from the camp site to check the inventory, and we could be on our way. There was only one breakage, a glass, which Paul had replaced with one from the bar.
Thumbs up from the girl, Phewwww, that meant Crowy would get all of the 200 Euros deposit back.
We were off on the homeward stretch.The Digney Run what can I say. Not being quite as well versed in the English Language as our mate Radar, All I can say is that it deserves to be in the top 10 biking roads.
I’ll let the video footage (courtesy of Crowy) do all the talking, Most of you have already seen it but here it is again to enjoy.
Along with the roads after Digney also.
Fantastic!
I would say it is the most fun you can have wearing leather. Just brill!
It was today that we were to say Tararabit to Paul who was shooting off North East to Germany,
Bye Paul…..Take it easy mate……………………………………………………It was a shame that the day had to end, but, what a way to end, ok the Hotel Neiges de France wasn’t five star but it was clean and tidy and had beds. Three of them in our 2 bedroom room, oh well mind your head.
The three S’s and we were off to the ‘CASINO’ for dinner.
Yes, like a beacon it shun, not a sight you could forget in a hurry.
We all walked in, Crowey said to the waiter our usual table please, we helped him out and walked ourselves to it. We placed orders for our first courses with Garcon who did look a little surprised when we ordered 2 bottles of Champagne as well, whilst we were waiting for the first course the Head Waiter arrived, he just remembered us from last year, I think it was Digger farting that finally triggered it for him, they do say that smell is the closest sense to memory.
Anyhow, we explained about the UBG write up (which incidentally Paul had left in the Hotel room, Neil and myself took a brisk walk back to get it) he was really excited about it, the owner of the Casino was there and he insisted that we show him, so that we did.
I said to Mr Casino“ Le UBG est une grond publicasseeon sure Onglais” at which point the Owners (I think) right hand man said “ it’s OK Monsieur he speaks English” . “Oh OK” so we bigged it up and showed him the picture and we pointed out the key parts like ‘fantastic’, ‘best food ever tasted’ ‘Superb’ blaaa di blaaaa di blaaaa… he gesticulated a bit and I heard the word Champagne mentioned and bless his little cotton French socks he was requesting that the head water give us a free bottle of Champagne. So cheers Radar here’s to you…………….
The food again looked exquisite; Presentation was …………well judge for yourself…..
Starter Yum Yum
The steak was not quite as succulent as I remember it was good but not superb as I remember the previous years, mind, after seven (I think) bottles of Champagne (and it really does not give you headache in the morning) who cared….The school girls were back giggling……..
It all added to what was a great end to yet another great day.
To bed sleepy heads…………………………..
So –
A fantastic day’s riding Withstanding nothing
More beer,
Great Company
Just bloody Great againDay 9 – 5th June 2008
Well and truly fed and watered. (No hangover whatsoever for anyone).
Breakfast was served by the singing Landlady of France, she was one of these ‘Happy People’ forever humming and bouncing around like a Duracell Bunny……. bloody annoying but a pleasure at the same time.
“OO air la milk si voos plate”
Tum to tum tit um “Voila Monsieur “ tum tit um ti tum. “Merci”.
Lovely lady.Bikes loaded. Looks like rain……….Waterproofs donned we set off, there was a stretch of road that we missed last year and Crowey swore that we would do this year and what cracking roads they were too, although it was a little damp to start off with we did get about thirty miles of dry roads and as like the others before fast sweepies and tight twisties.
There was one interesting part I think we all will remember where it was a long fast left hander over a bridge which had expansion gaps, metal expansion gaps of course, so as you can imaging cranked over and every fifty yards the bike takes a little step to the outside over everyone………..a little arse twitching I must say but all adds to the fun……………….
By about midday the rain was set in, all the way to Chamont (remember? We had to return the key that Digger had hidden in my pocket) Not too linger a stint though.
But there were a few towns to go through and we all had again to be careful of the painted Zebra crossings, the slippiest things known to man and machine.
Thankfully we all made it safely there. Back to The Hotel Terminus Reine.
Room 10 please, we thought about all sneaking up and staying there without telling them, but then thought against it……….
So checked in and then out for dinner, we thought we’d sample more local food after all when in France………………………… so we went for a Chinese……………………
Yep! The same one.
This time I must admit the food was excellent, I think even Digger got what he ordered and everyone enjoyed their food and beer and tea…..
All tired after the riding in the wet we all retired to the hotel bar (remember the one with the dodgy decor) for a couple of swift pints then off to bed……………..
So –
A great day’s riding initially shame about the rain
A full tummy full of cracking Chinese
Beer,
Great Company
Just bloody Great againNotes from Day 9 that no longer make sense :
• Appreciate Folly
Day 10 – 6th June 2008
Chamont – St Omer
Fed and watered, this was the last real stint on French roads and unfortunately the rain that had come down overnight had not stopped and it was still pretty persistent, a real test for the waterproofs.
Not the most exciting roads for this days riding, mostly Motorway in fact pretty much all Motorway, it was pretty pointless doing the A roads because of the weather. Rain, rain and more rain.
A quick detour off the Motorway to stop at the Maccy D’s for lunch where they charged 2 Euros 20 for small bottle of water, robbing beggers………………..
Then back on the Motorway for the last few miles to St Omer.
It seems that now Paul had gone those shards of metal that lay in wait on the roads to pierce unsuspecting tyres had decided to make a beeline for my rear Pirelli, luckily it was only a small bit and the air wasn’t escaping too quickly, Daz noticed that it was looking a little deflated as we were pulling off the motorway about 10 miles outside St Omer, thankfully it got me to the Hotel Bretagne.
We were all soaked though, Fail for waterproofs…..Mine anyway.
Daz came with me to find a garage to stick some air in my tyre, unfortunately all the shops were closed that might sell anything like tyre-weld.
The first local we asked said that there was a Honda garage about 2 miles down the road, excellent, we thought, not quite what we were hoping for:
A. It was closed down
B. It was a Honda Power Tool shopGreat if we needed a new pull cord for our generator, or a replacement engine for the Go-Kart, (thumper when that engine finally lets go I know where to go).
So we asked a guy who was nearby and he sent us to a garage about 4 miles further down the road, this one was even better, they were doing a deal on 65hp Mercury engines, Great! A Bloody boat shop, Irony, considering the amount of rain we had had it might be usefull……. But wait a minute, a workshop at the rear:
A very French looking man appeared from around the back, (all he was missing was the onions round his neck) we explained about the fact that the rear tyre on my motorcycle had deflated somewhat and would he be so kind a to re-inflate it for us, to approximately 40PSI with a compressor suitable for the task……by means of sign language. Which was:
• Point to tyre
• Say Kaput
• Blow
• Make gesture with hands as if holding a balloon that is being blown up
• Say Merci and smile whilst holding your thumb up……………..Worked a treat……Except he asked how many Bar (in French of course). Now. I know there are either 14.504 or 15. 405 PSI in 1 bar, But one of many things I don’t know how to say in French is point i.e. 2 point 5Bar, so I just said Twaaaaa! Si voos plait” so 3 Bar it was. I know whether it be 14.504 or 15.405 PSI, 3 bar is still too much…… but who cared. I didn’t…………..
So…………..
Back to the Hotel, hoping that the tyre would stay up enough overnight to get me to a garage in the morning.
So. Leathers, T-shirts, waterproofs, socks and other unmentionable articles of clothing hanging from any part of the hotel room that might omit some kind of heat or just allow us to hang…. Hairdryer working overtime on the gloves.I did tell Daz that that light fitting had a Halogen Bulb in it and they do get extremely hot, but 30 seconds was too long and Daz’s very posh gloves got very unposhed, Yep! They burnt……………
We showered and changed into what dry clothes we could find and met in the Hotel Bar.
Then onto ????? Didn’t make a note of the name of the restaurant I’m afraid, it was the one that smelt of Smelly People……..You know the smell…………..!!!!!!!!!!!! If you don’t, ooops! Sorry
I was reliably informed that it was the dog………. the one that just lies at the bottom of the stairs, and yes there was The Dog, lying at the bottom of the stairs…..
Starters, Main and Pud for some. Remember the Savaloy…….. and Crowey………..??????
Please send Cheque or Postal order for the value of £150.00 to receive a copy of the photo….
It was great food though I must say.
Then onto Cafe 66 (I think it was called) or Route 66, something like that anyway.
Damon was still there with his trusty amp and guitar sitting in the corner, he remembered us from previous years, and was, to use his words “Touched” by the article in UBG which we had brought to show him. By the way Radar is there any way we can mail him a copy of the article?)
The stingy Git didn’t buy us a beer though………
We did ask him if he could put Queen on so that we could all sing along to ‘We are the champions’ but he had lent it to a friend and hadn’t had it back, but he did have AC/DC. So that was playing all through the evening, and, Oh Yes! Out came the guitar.
You’ve all heard of ‘Beer Goggles’ (if you haven’t you’re either a woman or……something else)
Well there such things as ‘Beer Hearing Aids’????Because he got better as the night went on, and I don’t think he got any more talented as the night went on!!!!!!!!!!
As the night wore on locals came and went, a local Trampy type person appeared at the bar, I think he thought we were Americans because he kept bursting into song singing the American National Anthem…….then a c*r pulled up outside and four of what could only be described as undesirables got out and came into the bar, I think they were Uphill Gardeners also…….. One of them asked me where I was sleeping………..and another took a shine to Billy…………..???????????
AC/DC was still blasting out into the evening until the small hours of the morning,
Plenty of beer was converted into water and what started off being a pretty ordinary day because of the rain ended being very enjoyable one yet again, even the rain couldn’t put a dampener on the holiday.
It was sometime between 12.00 and 2.00 by the time we were all tucked up in bed.
Night night allDay 11 – 7th June 2008
No real hangovers to speak of, considering the amount of beer consumed it was a little surprising.
So for the last time this year – Fed and watered by means of the time honoured Continental Breakfast.
Out to the bikes, and bugger the tyre hadn’t held its pressure. Fortunately there were a couple of lads just setting off on their tour down to the South of France, and one of them kindly sold me one of his Tyre Weld canisters, I paid over the odds but, worth it, we had to be on the ferry in and hour and a half.
Cheers lads Hope you had as good a time as we did.
By the way the tyre is still holding pressure with the Tyre Weld in. (Reminder to self – ‘must get new tyre’ )
There was a little rain in the air.
This was the very last stint in France for this year, the thrash to the ferry, not quite as much of one for me with the rear tyre the way it was, no Maxing out like last year……..Thanks for waiting lads…….I appreciated it enormously…….
We made it with loads of time to spare, time to tighten Neil’s chain up which was very very loose indeed. Mechanic Daz to the rescue again.
Boarding the ferry went without incident. Bikes strapped down once more and up to the seating area for the 75 minute journey back to blighty, time to relax and prepare ourselves for our journeys home.
Bumpy roads
Uncourteous drivers
Speed cameras
Can’t wait!!!! NOT!!!There was the duty free as well, ciggies, choccy, perfume, toys, with the amount we had between us people would have thought we were riding Kitchen sink Cruisers.
The White Cliffs appeared, the boat reversed in, we climbed on our bikes and rode off back.
Not very dramatic I know but that’s what happened…A quick stop for fuel, I said my goodbyes to all the lads because I was stopping at my brothers in Maidstone, everyone else was ‘Next stop Home’.
Ride Safely Guys. Mind how you go.
“See you next year”
Cheers!Everyone got back safely………………………………………………………………..
……….Well that’s pretty much it, I hope I’ve done the trip justice.
All I can say now is, “Thanks for getting this far, If you enjoyed the read 1 tenth as much as I enjoyed the 10 days, then that’s good enough for me”
Thanks
Crowey, Digger, Billy, Neil, Daz, Timmy, and lest I forget Paul (Lost Somewhere in Germany)
For another fantastic 10 days holiday, Another one to remember and tell the Grandkids .
Cheers lads. Hopefully see you all again soon and count me in because I’m definitely up for next year.
Ps. Digger…….How are you getting on with your leathers?
Absolutely fantastic Toggsy,twas an epic journey,epic write up and epic read too. Glad you got us readers back home safe too.
ps the video link at ……I’ll let the video footage (courtesy of Crowy) do all the talking, Most of you have already seen it but here it is again to enjoy…… Is missing. I’ll edit this bit out once I know you realise!
You sure had me ‘laughing my socks off’ with that bit about “he just remembered us from last year, I think it was Digger farting that finally triggered it for him, they do say that smell is the closest sense to memory.”
Great write up, Radars mantle for fantastic descriptive posts sure has taken a hammering!!!!
[
]Glad everyone had a safe return[]Excellent Toggsy, love the ‘stalker in leathers’ bit. It’s a kind of ‘Mills and Boon meets Agatha Christie’ novel you’re writing, should sell well in paperback.
Put me down for a signed copy.
Great write up Toggsy.
I guess this makes you and Radar the Bronte Sisters* of the forum?
*or maybe the Brothers Grimm?
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