Great Truths in Life

[Gix]

GREAT TRUTHS YOU LEARN IN CHILDHOOD
1) No matter how hard you try, you cant baptise cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, dont let her brush your hair.
3) If your sibling hits you, dont hit ’em back. They always catch the second person!
4) Never ask your three year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You cant trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Dont sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
You cant hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Dont wear polka dot under-wear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you are sad is Grandpa’s lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED
1) Raising teenagers is like trying to nail jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles dont hurt.
3) Families are like fudge, mostly fudge with a few nuts.
4) Todays mighty oak is just yesterdays nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise, its like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food, I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you are down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a rollercoaster.
5) Its frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer but its a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE
1) You believe in Santa Claus
2) You dont believe in Santa Claus
3) You are Santa Claus
4) You look like Santa Claus

SUCCESS
At age 4 success is………..not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is……….having friends.
At age 17 success is……….having a driving license.
At age 35 success is……….having money.
At age 50 success is……….having money.
At age 70 success is……….having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is……….having friends.
At age 80 success is……….not peeing in your pants.

Rebel with a cause!

The roads are my race track!!

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