for sale – the truth behind the lies

[GSX Rat]

“FOR SALE” adverts …… THE TRUTH

If the advert claims…

It really means…

rough condition… too bad to lie about
parts car… beyond repair
immaculate… recently washed
concours… recently waxed
engine quiet… if you use 90-weight oil
needs minor overhaul… needs engine
needs major overhaul… Phone the junkyard
burns no oil… (it all leaks out)
rebuilt engine… Cleaned the spark plugs.
Drive it away… I live on a hill.
Drive it anywhere… (within 10 miles)
desirable classic… No one wants it.
rare classic… No one wanted it even when it was new.
stored 20 years… (in a farmer’s field)
ran when stored… Won’t start.
never apart… Bolts too rounded to loosen.
solid as a rock… rusted solid
restored, with 0 miles… Won’t start.
restored, with 2 miles… Won’t stay running.
older restoration… First owner washed it.
good investment… Can’t be worth much less.
no time to restore it… Can’t obtain parts.
95% complete… Other 5% doesn’t exist.
Other interests conflict… Spouse’s ultimatum: “Either that #!@# thing goes or I go!”
Doesn’t smoke… when it’s out of oil.
New slick racing tires… I burned the tread down to the belts.
Major preformance upgrades… Bolted a new exhaust tip on the tailpipe.
Kept in garage… The scratches are from my cat.
Pampered/adult driven… I’m 17 and I think it’s about to die.
Complete restoration… New paint.
New paint… Don’t let it get wet.
Sporty… It’s got clip ons
Worth £xxx–sacrifice for £xxx… I can’t believe I paid £xx for it myself.
Lots of extras… Everything that fell off is in a box
Quiet engine… You can’t hear it over the exhaust
Traction control… Starts moving only in 2nd gear.
Exotic… It leaves a funny taste in your mouth.
Precision machined… I used a degreaser.
FAST… -ER than an MZ

GSX750 Ratfighter / SR125 Rat / GSX600F / Beamish250 / Honda70 Rat

Blackboard paint – Covers a multitude of sins!

[Author]

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