Bad joke competition

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  • #12939
    imperialdata
    Keymaster

    Let’s have one. Post your best worst joke!!

    Here’s a few of mine (thanks kids):

    Two fish were in a tank. One said to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

    I was reading a book about adhesive the other day. I just couldn’t put it down.

    Q: What’s the friendliest school?
    A: Hi school.

    Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?
    A: Mustard. (It’s good for hot dogs.)

    Q: What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?
    A: A lumpy milkshake.

    Q; What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school?
    A: Not only have you let me down, you’ve let yourself down, and you’ve let the whole school down!

    Q: Why was the broom late?
    A: Because he overswept.

    2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted….

    A dyslexic man walks into a bra…..

    “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.'”
    “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
    “Is it common?”
    “Well, It’s Not Unusual.”

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”.

    Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

    #53844
    Gix
    Participant

    2 blondes walk into a building….you would have thought one of them would have seen it!

    #53845
    katana
    Participant

    What’s brown and sticky?

    ………. a stick

    #53846
    Scouser
    Participant

    A buddist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says….

    “Can you make me one with everything”

    #53847
    Born2BMild
    Participant

    What is grey and crunchy to eat?

    Mice crispies

    #53848
    imperialdata
    Keymaster

    Q. What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
    A. Roberto!

    Q. What do you call a Frenchman in sandles?
    A. Philippe filop

    Q. What should you do if you are attacked by a gang of clowns?
    A. Go for the juggler

    Q. What is ET short for
    A. Because he’s only got small legs

    Glad I got rid of them, I was in pain…..

    #53849
    max
    Participant

    quote:


    Originally posted by imperialdata

    Let’s have one. Post your best worst joke!!

    Here’s a few of mine (thanks kids):

    Two fish were in a tank. One said to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

    I was reading a book about adhesive the other day. I just couldn’t put it down.

    Q: What’s the friendliest school?
    A: Hi school.

    Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?
    A: Mustard. (It’s good for hot dogs.)

    Q: What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?
    A: A lumpy milkshake.

    Q; What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school?
    A: Not only have you let me down, you’ve let yourself down, and you’ve let the whole school down!

    Q: Why was the broom late?
    A: Because he overswept.

    2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted….

    A dyslexic man walks into a bra…..

    “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.'”
    “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
    “Is it common?”
    “Well, It’s Not Unusual.”

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”.

    Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.


    the last 2 are funny[:o)][:D]

    #53850
    max
    Participant

    saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour
    said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, Six should be enough.’

    #53851
    max
    Participant

    sorry thats a good joke lol

    #53852
    prezzo
    Participant

    Jewis perv asks little kid,
    are you realy going to eat all them sweets

    #53853
    HippoDrones
    Participant

    Three pieces of string went into a pub,

    The first one goes up to the bar and asks, Can I have a pint of bitter, please? The barman looks at him and says, You’re a piece of string, aren’t you? The string is bemused and says yes. Well get out of here, we don’t serve your type, orders the barman.

    Then the second piece of string has a go and meets the same fate. The third one though is very old and very wise. He hobbles up to the bar and requests a pint. You’re a piece of string, aren’t you? accuses the publican. No I’m a-frayed-knot, denies the ancient rope.

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