A few short ones…

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    Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
    1. All the DNA is the same.
    2. There are no dental records.

    A little boy went up to his father and asked: “Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?” The father replied. “Well son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine.”

    “Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court Judge said, “And I’ve decided to give your wife £275 a week.” “That’s very fair, your honour,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few quid myself.”

    A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife.” “Me neither doc,” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.”

    An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”
    The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

    A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, “Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?” The agent replies, “Just a minute…” “Thank you,” the blonde says, and hangs up.

    Moe: “My wife got me to believe in religion.” Joe: “Really?” Moe:
    Until I married her I didn’t believe in hell.”

    A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
    “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,”
    he answered. “What did he say?” asked the nurse. “Oops!”

    Best Regards
    Stuart XV16

    Please note that some of the comments and articles posted may not represent my views or the views of FORUM99 and its moderators.

    The normally careful and competent actions of a reasonable individual should be considered legal.

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