A few selected wife jokes that made me laugh

Home Forums Jokes and games A few selected wife jokes that made me laugh

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #14833
    imperialdata
    Keymaster

    Use these at your own risk… I did  ;D ;D ;D

    Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up next to a fat bird who was snoring and farting. At least I got home OK!!

    The wife’s back on the warpath again, she was up for making a home movie last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

    My wife accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. Her next shit could spell disaster.

    My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off first.

    I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.

    After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough….once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better. So I thought …. sod it …. soldier on!

    I woke up this morning at 8.00 am and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!
    I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. Then I remembered that Wetherspoons serve breakfast until 11.30.

    Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, took me 5 hours to get her off the big wheel.

    #64767
    Swindon Andy
    Participant

    My neighbour complained about the noise my wife makes when having sex, so I don’t let her go over there any more!

    I asked my wife why she doesn’t cuddle me after she orgasms, she said – because you’re never there!

    #64768
    HippoDrones
    Participant

    hahaha :D

    #64769
    Scouser
    Participant

    My wife had one of her nipples pierced trying to re-live her youth, but she had to take it out as it kept catching it with her toe! :P

    #64770
    Radar
    Moderator

    “My wife accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. Her next shit could spell disaster.”

    I did actually lol ;D

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.