My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so that he would be able to monitor my moods.
When I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he will buy me a diamond!
My husband came home with a tube of KY Jelly and said,”This will make you happy tonight.”
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the door knobs. He couldn’t get back in!
A couple are lying in bed. The man says, “I am gonna make you the happiest woman in the world.”
The woman says, “I’ll miss you.”
Q. Why do men want to marry virgins?
A. They cant stand criticism.
Q. Whats the fastest way to a mans heart?
A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q. What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Q. What do you do if you see a man running around with half a head?
A. Reload and try again!
Rebel with a cause!
The roads are my race track!!
Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to do it.