I’d just passed my bike test riding my mother’s Honda C70, only days after my 17th birthday. Immediately I swapped a Suzuki GT250 I’d been restoring for a very rough Suzuki X5: The insurance was much cheaper being a key reason for the switch.
Not the Best Example of the Breed
Test riding X5 revealed a it had a bent back wheel, electrical problems and was generally very tired: 55mph flat out was about your lot!. Paintwork was scruffy too, but it had an MOT; God knows how but it was one less thing to sort out.
A second-hand wheel was located at a breakers and fitted in place for the dodgy one. At least it was safe to ride now. Next up; deal with the slow engine.
Let’s Get on With it – My Tuning Debut!
First I stripped it down to see what was wrong then the plan was port it out. However once stripped I found a worn top end, but at least the crank was OK. New pistons +0.5 oversize, rings and little end bearings ordered.
Having studied porting in bike mags I knew most cleaned up inlet ports and raise the exhaust port and transfer ports. How hard could it be? I mean it’s just making holes bigger?
I’d read somewhere 2mm was used on Yamaha RD250’s and well I want really fast and would raise mine by 4/5mm! Well I did this and polished the exhaust port so much the local bike shop who I asked to re-bore it, actually said they never had never seen ports so polished, but had no idea about my wild porting. I struggled to get my head out the door of the shop after that.
While awaiting the re-bored barrels I stripped the bike and a friend ‘rattle-can’ sprayed the frame , tank and all panels for me. The X5 looked quite nice with a blue frame and yellow tank /panels .
How the X5 looked in my minds eye
How it actually looked
On went Goodridge hoses for front brake, new bar grips, a Metzeler rear tyre, new taper head bearings, X7 carburettor and the best bit: New Allspeed exhausts! Wow, this would be like a new bike. With barrels back in and everything reassembled I took it out for the first ride: It no power! I mean it was really difficult to pull away and rice pudding skin had nothing to fear.
Room for Improvement…
Ok, I was running it in and only going to 4/5k on rev counter, but still this was bad: Mopeds took off faster! Two hundred miles of torturously slow riding I now thought about opening it up. Whilst running in around town I’d admired my reflection in shop windows: I thought we looked amazing…Ego-tripping teen prat, you have to laugh.
Time for serious ride to test if the beast that I built could keep up with 250’s! I know, I’m a dreamer: First gear watching the rpm rise; …5k…6…7…8…Where is the feckin’ power band? The needle crawls past the 9k mark and by now is in the red part of rev counter. Hang on, something was happening: A change in pitch of the sound from the Allspeeds: Past 10k and then…BANG! No. it’s not spat the crankshaft out, but man! The power! My God it was the front wheel pawing the air!! Boy it felt fast! then, I guess at about 11k and out of the red on clocks it had dropped out the power. OK so I had a razor sharp power band that a 1960’s racing 50 would be proud of, but I only had 5 gears to try and keep it in the power-band.
Experimentation in Order
Over the next few days I played with jetting and gearing, but nothing I did made it easy to ride. However it was quick to about 75mph and with right conditions I saw about 95mph. This was probably possible with a standard X5 just fitted with the Allspeeds. Ah, hmm.
I went around to the girlfriend’s parents to pick her up: What better way to impress them with my riding skills than wheelie up the street, then perform the perfect ‘endo’ outside the house. Then as rear wheel drops down, wheelie off again! Yes, I’m sure her mother and the rest of the street would see how skilful I was!
Weight Distribution is Key
The real problem was with the girlfriend on the back: the X5 spent all its time with the front wheel waving in the air as I tried to set off! Her desire to flee or fight in order to stay alive kicked in: She jumped off as the front wheel came up! I heard the high speed click, click, clickerdy-click of high heels running behind me! God knows how she didn’t fall over. To my utter astonishment she got back, while threatening me with actual physical harm if I didn’t pack it in!
‘But it’s the bike not me’ I protested…
We set off again and I tried not to wheelie. However that proved impossible. This resulted in much dipping of the clutch to find the power. Then I notice her hand drop down from my waist: Towards my jeans! Then working my zipper!
“Oh my…not now honey I’m riding!” thought I
But she carried on and soon I was riding with my tackle on the tank! Her arms went back to my waist and at first I thought; ‘teaser’.
But no I suddenly found I could indeed ride without popping a wheelie: In order to protect myself from possible injury to some very vital bits of my anatomy!
Pulling over and slight disagreement on what is safe and what is dangerous when zipping up jeans! I now tried very hard (ahem…) not to wheelie with her on the back . After a week or so of having a scream riding around like a lunatic another lad from work riding a Yamaha RD350YPVS refused to overtake on the way to work. When we pulled up said how good my bike sounds in the power band and he was happy to follow me in.
Humbled a RD250!
My riding was as teens ride (crazy) and even got past an Yamaha RD250 (he was probably caught out), when riding the crazy tuned two stroke.
Then it became hard to start and stripping down the engine I had blown the centre crank seal and although it ran, albeit badly. I had been getting 18mpg! So I ordered a second-hand crank as it was cheaper than a new seal and getting crank pulled apart and lined back up. When this arrived I pushed the X5 into my parents garage and started the rebuild. By 11pm that evening I thought I will keep going until I was done, but I’d have to be very quiet or parents and their next door neighbours would have my guts for garters.
As the sun came up I walked to back door with bike rebuilt! My dad opened back door and asked why I was up so early to which I responded;
‘I’m not I’m off to bed…..Zzzzz’
While I am on the subject of the engine; who ever designed the clutch springs wants a slap: They are not bolts like 99% of motorcycles but steel pins that connect to the clutch springs which fly off in all directions when removing or installing them! This gives rise to hours of fun playing ‘find the pin’.
That afternoon I rode the bike on a shale down run and it overheated after five minutes. When it cooled down seem fine. But the same problem repeated itself; odd…Eventually, after days of head scratching I figured out that not using a torque wrench to tighten them , I’d over tightened the crankcases. Once loosened off the lunatic riding fun was restored!
The Inevitable Duly Occurred
A month later the crank centre seal blew, again. Being skint my long-suffering parents bought me a second-hand engine for spares for Christmas! I’d pleaded with them, and hey caved in! This engine lasted a month and same again . So yet another crank located and installed. Crank 3 seemed to be hanging in there, but now my bike had a strange slack / tight chain feel, Checking deeper on it, yup it did go slack and tight as a bow I found this odd; it was a s brand new part. Taking the chain off I find front sprocket going tight and loose! The sprocket itself was moving up and down! Feck! Stripping the engine I found a bent gearbox shaft ! Second-hand gearbox installed from my ‘Xmas-prezzy’ engine and fun was soon restored. Then only two weeks later crank 3 blew its seal.
Sometimes you just have to know when you are beaten: With a heavy heart I pushed the dead X5 into the garage and thought about getting something reliable and so ended my days tuning as guru.
Story: Mark Truther Hardy
Pictures: Mark Truther Hardy and Todd Rogers
Editor: Tony Donnelly
Based on a Facebook post originally posted on The Unloved and Worthless Motorcycle Group.
Edited and used with permission.