Understanding Engineers

[Radar]

Understanding Engineers – Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where
did you get such a great bike?”
The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike
to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”
The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn’t have fit.”

Understanding Engineers – Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half
empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers-Take Three
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers-Take Four
The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with a Sociology degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

Understanding Engineers-Take Five
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”
Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has
many thousands of electrical connections.”
The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?”

Understanding Engineers-Take Six
Normal people … believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features
yet.”

Understanding Engineers-Take Seven
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion
and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, “I like both.”
“Both?”
The engineer said, “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab
and get some work done.”

Understanding Engineers – Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and
said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”.
He bent over,picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up
again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,
I will stay with you for one week.”
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back
into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.”
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful
princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why
won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.”

[Author]

Posts