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This bloke wakes up from his tractor shaped bed, with tractor covers and puts on his tractor pyjamas.
He eats his tractor shaped corn flakes (don’t ask) and goes in the shower.
He gets his John Deere overalls on with a tractor t-shirt and tractor cap on his head.
He goes outside, gets on his tractor and sets off down the road to go to a tractor show.
When he arrives he sees the most amazing display of tractors he’s ever seen, and this guy’s seen a few tractors in his time I can tell you.
He gets into the driving seat of the first one and is happily pretending to drive said tractor.
A security guard comes along and orders him off of the tractor and he reluctantly gets down.
He finds another tractor and can’t resist another go in the driver’s seat. Suddenly the same guard appears and orders him down again, which he reluctantly agrees with.
Now, this guy loooooves tractors with an absolute passion and eventually he sees the most amazing tractor yet…a John Deere 7820.
He’s just climbing stealthily into the cab when the guard appears, looking angry this time.
The guard physically drags him out and embarasses him in front of all the other tractor enthusiasts and making him very angry in the process.
He realises that tractors are trouble, he just can’t help himself when he sees a real beauty and this cannot continue.
By now he’s just about had enough of tractors so he says “that’s it, sod tractors, I don’t f…..g like them anymore and I need a beer.”
He arrives (by bus not tractor) at a pub and walks in to find it full of smoke, and I mean like proper full of smoke.
The landlord says “look mate if you can get rid of this smoke I’ll give you a free pint.”
Ok says our guy and starts sucking in the smoke and breathing it out the door, coughing as he goes of course.
After about an hour he has cleared the whole pub of smoke and he proceeds to claim his free beer.
As he’s pulling him a pint as reward the landlord casually asks him “how on earth did you manage to clear all that smoke?”
Our man replies…”Well, I’m an ex-tractor fan.”
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