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1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
2. Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”
3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
7. Why does a Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
9. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
11. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
12. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
13. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
14. Stop singing and read on
15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
16. Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it’s in your arse?
17. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
18. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
LOVE IS GIVING SOMEONE THE ABILITY TO DESTROY YOU, THEN TRUSTING THEM NOT TO.
GO ON! DONATE! YOU KNOW YA WANNA!
ok, heres one that i always wondered. It’s not a joke but i’d love to have been there.
Apparantley, a cow can climb stairs but not descend them, something to do with opposing bones or something in the leg. However, who was the unlucky guy who found this out, why did he have a cow upstairs and how did he explain it to the wife!!!
I slept with faith and found a corpse in my arms on awakening; I drank and danced all night with doubt and found her a virgin in the morning.
Aleister Crowley (1875 – 1947)Blackboard paint – Covers a multitude of sins!
Hahahahaha…….bet he had some explaining to do!!!!!
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
LOVE IS GIVING SOMEONE THE ABILITY TO DESTROY YOU, THEN TRUSTING THEM NOT TO.
GO ON! DONATE! YOU KNOW YA WANNA!
What was named after what – Orange
Are Oranges named because of the colour or is the colour named after the fruit? If the colour was named from the fruit then what colour were carrots before they were orange, as carrots must have been about in the colder parts of the world before anyone who lived there saw an Orange?
If the friut was named after the colour by some explorer bod asking, “what are those orange things on that tree” why aren’t bananas called yellows, strawberrys reds, peas greens etc?
Donut – I mean DONATE!
My 9 year old daughter asked me about the TV programme I was watching one night. I answered by saying it was about D day.
She then asked: “was there was a C Day??”
Had me stumped!
Donate – it makes you feel good!Why was 6 sad? Cos 7 ate 9!!![
]I know that was crap but I’ve got a reputation to maintain!!
]Wilba Wild 01
Where does all the rubber go?
Millions of vehicles on the road. All tyres wear on the road’s surface,even the Chieng Shein [spelt wrong] cheap ones that I had on my RD125DX [see Radar even I had a Yam]. So why aren’t all the roads covered with a thick layer of rubber?
Donut – I mean DONATE!
they are, sort of – if you look at the side of any motorway or fast road there is a layer of small rubber pieces!
I slept with faith and found a corpse in my arms on awakening; I drank and danced all night with doubt and found her a virgin in the morning.
Aleister Crowley (1875 – 1947)Blackboard paint – Covers a multitude of sins!
]I know that was crap but I’ve got a reputation to maintain!!
]
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