English is a Terrible language….Read along rider

[Stan_DB]

There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the
hamburger and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England, French
fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted. But if we
examine its paradoxes, we find that Quicksand takes
you down slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing. If the
plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of
phone booth be phone beeth. If the teacher taught, why
didn’t the preacher praught. If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
where a house can burn up as it burns down and in
which you fill in a form by filling it out. And a bell
is only heard once it goes! English was invented by
people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity
of the human race (which of course isn’t a race at
all).

That is why when the stars are out they are visible,
but when the lights are out they are invisible. And
why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts but
when I wind up this story it ends?

And more……………………. Some food for
“Thought”

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,
but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are wise men and wise guys opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean
to make terrible?

Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1
billion stars in the universe you will believe them,
but if they tell yo a wall has wet paint you will
have to touch it to be sure?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called “Poles,” why aren’t
people from Holland called “Holes?” []

Ride Safe

[Author]

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