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Two old ladies were sitting on rocking chairs in their retirement home. One asked, “Do you still ever get horny?”
“Oh, yes!” was the reply.
“What do you do about it?” asked the first.
“I suck on a lifesaver.” was the reply.
The first lady sat there for a long while pondering the answer. Finally she couldn’t stand it any longer, and asked,
“Who drives you to the beach?”One day mom was cleaning juniors room and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
She finally asked him, “Well what should we do about this?”
Dad looked at her and said, “Well, I don’t think you should spank him.”A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?”
“Relax,” says the Doctor, “take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry’s bar?”LOVE IS GIVING SOMEONE THE ABILITY TO DESTROY YOU, THEN TRUSTING THEM NOT TO.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, Vodka in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming…….WOO HOO, what a ride!
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