Do-It-Yourself Castration

After having their eleventh child a Newcastle couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn’t want any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can and then hold the can up to his ear and count to ten.

The man said to the doctor, “I may not be the smartest guy in the world but I don’t see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me”. “Trust me, it will do the job,” said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5” at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand !!!

LOVE IS GIVING SOMEONE THE ABILITY TO DESTROY YOU, THEN TRUSTING THEM NOT TO.

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, Vodka in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming…….WOO HOO, what a ride!