You`ll Never Outsmart A Woman……

Never try to out smart a woman!

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died he said to his wife “When I die. I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.” And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died she would put all of the money in the casket with him.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was sitting there in black,and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket the wif said “Wait just a minute!” She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and then rolled it away. So her friend said “Girl, I know you weren’t fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband.” The loyal wife replied “Listen, I’m a Christian, I can’t go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.” “You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!? I sure did” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it.”!!!!

Women Are Smarter Than Men

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles’s bar he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. “I’m just an ordinary man,” he said, walking up to her, “but in just a week or two, my father will die and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.” The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother!

WOMEN Vs MEN

Women’s Revenge “Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. “So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked. “No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him!.

Wife Vs Husband

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard
of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

Words

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man’s 15,000. The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men. The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

Stupid And Beautiful

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

Coffee

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.” Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.” Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.” So she fetched the Bible, opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says…. “HEBREWS”

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

LOVE IS GIVING SOMEONE THE ABILITY TO DESTROY YOU, THEN TRUSTING THEM NOT TO.

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, Vodka in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming…….WOO HOO, what a ride!