Gas

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husbands habit of farting loudly in the morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off cos it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was asleep upstairs, she looked at the bowl she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and crept upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the covers, she pulled back the waistband of his underwear and emptied the contents of the bowl into his shorts. She crept back downstairs and waited.
Some time later she heard her husband awaken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself, rolling around the floor laughing with tears in her eyes. After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About 20 minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underwear with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.”
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened! But, by the Grace of God, some vasaline and these two fingers, I think I got most of it back in!”

Rebel with a cause!

The roads are my race track!!

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to do it.