Washing Up

Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn’t have much luck, until one day he comes across a beautiful Harley with a ‘For Sale’ sign on it. The bike seems even more beautiful than a new one, although it is 20 years old. It is shiny and in absolutely mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 20 years.
“Well, it’s quite simple really” says the seller, “Whenever the bike is outside and it’s going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.” And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night his girlfriend Sandra invites him over to meet her parents for the first time. Naturally they take the bike there, but just before they enter the house Sandra stops him and says “I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don’t talk. Not a single word. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.” “No problem” he says, and in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.They sit down to dinner, and sure enough no one says a single word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and has his way with her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mum horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at Sandra’s mum. “She’s got a great body”, he thinks. So he grabs the mum, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious, and her dad is boiling … but still total silence ! All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his motorcycle, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father leaps up and backs away from the table, shouting “All right, enough already, I’ll do the fuc***g dishes!”