Exam Answers

These are similes allegedly from actual GCSE essays :

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview
portion of Family Fortunes.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a tumble dryer.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy-hook latches that used to
dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open
again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond, exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn’t.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
York at 6.36pm travelling at 55mph, the other from Peterborough at
4.19pm at a speed of 35mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr.
on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of
metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

Even in his last years, Grandpa had a mind like a steel trap, only one
that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But, unlike Phil, this plan
just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
for a while.

“Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on
31p-a-pint night.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell
butter from “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever
seen before.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because
of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
formerly surcharge-free cash point.

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric
fan set on medium.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
their power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a bin lorry reversing.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to
the wall.

Sorry about the Liverpool joke, but I couldn’t resist it!
Irish, Brummie jokes are entirely fair!!