The rules of chocolate

~ If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

~ Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries

all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

~ The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the shop in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the car park.

~ Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

~ A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

~ If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.

~ But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

~ If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

~ Money talks. Chocolate sings.

~ Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

~ If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top tights. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

~ Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.