the gates of heaven

Home Forums Jokes and games the gates of heaven

Viewing 1 post (of 1 total)
  • Author
  • #11076

    Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven.
    However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit
    33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the
    worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in
    turn and asks them about how they died.

    First man: “I’d been suspecting for a long time that my wife was
    cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one
    afternoon and check to see if I could catch her in the act. When
    I got back to my apartment, I heard the water running. My wife
    was in the shower. I looked everywhere for the guy, but couldn’t
    find anyone or any trace that he had been there. The last place
    I looked was out on the balcony.

    I found the bastard hanging from the edge, trying to get back
    in! So I started jumping up and down on his hands, and he
    yelled, but he didn’t fall. So I ran inside and got a hammer,
    and crushed his fingers with it until he fell twenty-five floors
    screaming in agony. But the fall didn’t kill the asshole. He
    landed in some bushes! So I dragged the refirgerator from the
    kitchen (it weighed about a ton), pulled it to the balcony, and
    hurled it over the edge. It landed right on the guy and killed
    him. But then I felt so horrible about what I had done, I went
    back into the bedroom and shot myself.”

    St. Peter nodded slowly as the man recounted the story. Then,
    telling the first man to wait, he took the second aside.

    Second man: “I lived on the twenty-seventh floor of this
    apartment building. I had just purchased this book on morning
    exercises and was practicing them on my balcony, enjoying the
    sunshine, when I lost my balance and fell off the edge. Luckily,
    I only fell about two floors before grabbing another balcony and
    holding on for dear life. I was trying to pull myself up when
    this guy came running onto what must have been his balcony and
    started jumping up and down on my hands. I screamed in pain, but
    he seemed really irate. When he finally stopped, I tried to pull
    myself up again, but he came out with a hammer and smashed my
    fingers to a pulp! I fell, and I thought I was dead, but I
    landed in some bushes. I couldn’t believe my second stroke of
    luck, but it didn’t last. The last thing I saw was this enormous
    refrigerator falling from the building down on top of me and
    crushing me.”

    St. Peter comforted the man, who seemed to have several broken
    bones. Then he told him to wait, and turned to the third man.

    Third man: “Picture this. You’re hiding, naked, in a


    life sucks get used to it

Viewing 1 post (of 1 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.