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    A bloke is in a queue at the Super Market when he notices that the
    rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.

    He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can’t place where he might know her from, so he says

    “sorry, do you know me?”

    She replies “I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!

    His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful,
    Christ! he says “are you that stripogram on my stag night that I s*agged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my a*se?

    No she replies, I’m your sons’ English Teacher!

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