Essex girls

A train hits a busload of Essex Schoolgirls and they all perish.

They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter.

St Peter asks the first girl (from Chelmsford), “Karen, have you
ever had any contact with a mans thing?”

She giggles and shyly replies, “Well I once touched the head of one
with the tip of my finger”

St. Peter says, “OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water
and pass through the gate.”

St. Peter asks the next girl (from Southend ) the same question,
“Joanne have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?”

The girl is a little reluctant but replies “Well once I fondled and
stroked one.”
St. Peter says “OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass
through the gate.”

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls,
and the girl from Basildon is pushing her way to the front of the
line.
When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says “Britney !
What seems to be the rush?”

The girl replies..”If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy water…I
want to do it before Lorraine sticks her arse in it!!”

LOVE IS GIVING SOMEONE THE ABILITY TO DESTROY YOU, THEN TRUSTING THEM NOT TO.

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, vacuum in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming…….WOO HOO, there goes another engine!